The Official On-Line Newsletter

of the

WA Rangers Association Inc

Issue 2 2008

Apologies for the Delay In Bringing you all Issue 2 for 2008.

An Interview with one of our own.

Interview with Brian McCahon – Busselton Ranger Services

Hello once again from the WA Rangers Association Media Team. We have returned with another Ranger interview for you to read and enjoy. This time we got to speak to Brian McCahon from the Shire of Busselton. Some of you may know him from his days at other council Ranger Services, but he has now quite happily relocated to the states Southern Region. Brian started out in the Rangering profession in August 1999 at the Town of Vincent, where after almost four years there he got a job with the Town of Cambridge. He stayed there until he got his current position at the Shire of Busselton which he has had since August 2006. However, he is a man of many skills and before becoming a Ranger he worked with Tango Security and he also worked with helicopters and light aircraft in Kununurra. The lucky boy used to get to fly over the Bungle Bungles – for free!

Brian got his first job in Rangering somewhat through his previous employer, Tango Security. The Town of Vincent required some new Rangers and Brian was one of the guys that got sent along for an interview. Hey Presto! He was hired! Yet another Ranger to be on the receiving end of a great opportunity in Law Enforcement through being at the right place at the right time! Mind you, it probably wasn’t that quick and easy, but when a great opportunity taps you on the shoulder, who would really question the timing other than to say it was perfect!! However, rest assured he was not hired simply because he was there. He had put a lot of time and effort into getting his qualifications and the further studies and training that Brian continues to undergo in order to keep up with the progressing world of Local Law Enforcement is a credit to him. He sets a great example to all of us to continue to improve ourselves; as how many times are we told of changes to the way we do things so we can work with the new laws, external perceptions and improved procedures?

Brian was actually fairly motivated to go to Busselton when the position opened up. He likes the location and also the lifestyle a modern country town provides for him and his family. Busselton is small enough to still be community oriented but is large enough to provide all the amenities a growing family needs. After coming from the north end of WA he has a love for the smaller country towns. Busselton was also a good location in itself for Brian and his family to relocate to. They love to tour around the state’s south-west and do all the touristy things that many Australians take for granted. Country towns also have something that attracts Brian in his role as a Ranger, a large variety of work over a large area. Most Rangers will understand just how much the distance between each job can effect how much you can get accomplished in one day. As we all know, we can never plan our day in concrete because we never know what’s going to come up.

For Brian family time is his number one priority and living in a touristy location it allows him to indulge many of his passions. He gets to take his family out and about to explore all the natural beauty of the surrounding area and it doesn’t hurt that he loves to drive so they do a few car trips! All of which he records in beautiful images with his camera equipment as he also counts photography as a hobby. One other place you might find him should you be looking for him one day is the gym. Because he leads such an active life he likes to keep himself in tip-top shape by regularly working out. He used to keep fit by playing team sports, but unfortunately, as many of us know, it’s hard to keep regular events going when you work a shift roster. No training means no playing so team sports have been a sacrifice in Brian’s life. If he’s not with his wife and kids or at the gym he can often be found tinkering with anything that has a small engine, either fixing it or pulling it apart to see how it works! He also enjoys motor-bikes having just got a new bike in Feb is enjoying being back on two wheels and the freedom it brings.

So, all in all, Brian is a lucky Ranger! He’s got a great job, in a great location where he can spend quality time with his family and he can also combine all of this with his favourite activities. How great does that sound? Anyway, that’s it for another insight into a fellow Ranger. We hope you enjoyed reading this and keep your eyes open for the next interview to hit the website! Until then,

Stay Safe,

And Happy Rangering!

WARA Media Team

You Must Be Joking !!!

Dog Property Rules

1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If its in my mouth, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway.
7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If its broken, it's yours.

A Cat's Dictionary

Purring: Sound of a cat manufacturing cuteness.
Purrverse: Poem about a strange kitty.
Purranoia: The fear that your cat is up to something.
Human being: Automatic door opener for cats.
Purrpetual: Everlasting love for domesticated felines.
Purrson: A male kitty.
Purrpetual motion: A kitty playing.

 SOME MORE DARWIN AWARDS

(2 February 2008, New York) A 50-year-old man was bird hunting in Upstate New York with his buddies and his faithful canine companion. They stopped for a smoke, and his dog found a deer leg bone!

The man tried to take the bone away, but like any right thinking dog, the animal would not relinquish its treasure. He stayed just out of reach. Frustrated with this blatant show of disobedience, the man grabbed his loaded shotgun by the muzzle and began wielding it like a club. Each time he swung it, the dog dodged.

Suddenly the "club" struck the ground and fired, shooting the man in the abdomen. He was airlifted to a nearby hospital, where he died from his injuries. He did remain conscious long enough to confirm this account to police; otherwise, his poor friends might now be under suspicion!

At least he didn't hit the dog!

Rare Double Darwin!

Three hale and hearty young men had finished their basic training. Before heading out to their respective assignments, they decided to spend their few days of leave with one's grandmother, who lived in the town where they had completed basic training. The privates descended upon Grandmother, who filled them with home cooking and gave them soft beds to sleep in. Grandmother had a swing job to make ends meet, so the privates were left alone late into the night.

How could they repay her for her kindness?

Grandmother had three children. To commemorate the birth of each child, a pine tree had been planted in the front yard. In the fifty years since the last tree was planted, the pines had grown considerably, and the middle tree now blocked the view from the living room window. The privates decided that they would cut down that tree, letting the sun and the view into the room.

A case of beer went into the planning.

To keep the 50-foot tree from crushing the house, the privates reasoned that they would tie a rope to the top of the tree and pull the rope away from the house as the tree was cut.

The middle pine tree, the doomed one, was slightly closer to the house than the other two. The privates climbed an end tree, wound a rope through its upper branches, and threw the rope to a private in the middle tree. He tied the rope around the trunk. By this device, they could pull the rope from the ground. The middle pine tree would fall away from the house, and the privates were also clear of the path of the falling tree.

Climbing a pine tree is very sappy work, and scrapes and gouges are infliced by the natural roughness of its bark. But the hale and hearty privates completed the preliminaries without complaint. The middle tree was lassoed and levered by the rope running through the end tree.

So far, so good.

Two privates were situated on the ground, each straining to pull the tree away from Grandmother's house. The third private revved his 20 HP chainsaw and started to cut. Lo and behold, the tree actually fell away from Grandmother's house! However...

The rope-pulling privates had wrapped the rope around their waists, not considering that the falling pine weighed several tons. As the middle pine tree fell, both privates were ripped off their feet and smashed through the branches of the end pine tree. At the height of their acceleration, they broke through the top branches of the tree, and were briefly airborne before being jerked toward the earth when the middle tree hit the ground. The privates entered into Darwin history, either on the way up through the branches or on the way down to the cold, hard ground.

The event spoke for itself.

(20 April 2008, Atlantic Ocean, Brazil) In 1982 Lawn Chair Larry, beloved survivor of a Darwin-worthy attempt, attached 45 helium weather balloons to his comfortable Sears lawn chair, packed a picnic and a , and cut the tether. But instead of drifting lazily above the Los Angeles landscape, the combined lift of 45 huge helium balloons rocketed Larry into LAX air traffic lanes 16,000 feet above sea level. Astoundingly, he survived the "flight."

In homage to Larry's aerial adventure, a Catholic priest recently ascended towards heaven on a host of helium party balloons. Adelir Antonio de Carli, 41, was attempting to set the world record for clustered balloon flight to publicize his plan to build a spiritual rest stop for truckers.

Sitting for more than 19 hours in a lawn chair is not a trivial matter, even in the comfort of your own backyard. The priest took numerous safety precautions, including wearing a survival suit, selecting a buoyant chair, and packing a satellite phone and a GPS. However, the late Adelir Antonio made a fatal mistake.

He did not know how to use the GPS.

The winds changed, as winds do, and he was blown inexorably toward open sea. He could have parachuted to safety while over land, but chose not to. When the voyager was perilously lost at sea, he prudently phoned for help. But rescuers were unable to reach him since he could not use his GPS! HE struggled with the control panel as the charge on the satellite phone dwindled.

Instead of a GPS, the priest let God be his guide, and God guided him straight to heaven. Bits of balloons began appearing on mountains and beaches. Ultimately the priest's body surfaced, confirming that he, like Elvis, had left the building.

RECENTLY I UNCOVERED A 15 PAGE MANUAL IN MY CATS BED FROM WHICH I WILL COVER A FEW ITEMS IN EACH UPCOMING RANGERDAZE

Rules for Cats Who Have to Run a House

1. Introduction
   
   The following is a manual of guidelines for the busy cat(s) who will have a house to manage after adopting one or more humans. It is, of course, impossible to cover all possible situations, as those humans are always up to some sort of mischief, but the compiler and contributors to this guide have endeavoured to cover as wide a variety of topics as possible. It is important that this document be kept out of the hands of humans, who will undoubtedly find a way to use it to their advantage.
   
   2. Food
   
   In order to get the energy to sleep, play, and hamper, a cat must eat. Eating, however, is only half the fun. The other half is getting the food. Cats have two ways to obtain food: convincing a human you are starving to death and must be fed now; and hunting for it oneself. The following are some guidelines for getting fed.
   
   a) When the humans are eating, make sure you leave the tip of your tail in their dishes when they are not looking.
   
   b) Never eat food from your own bowl if you can steal some from the table.
   
   c) Never drink from your own water bowl if a human's glass is full enough to drink from.
   
   d) The best times to inform humans of your dish's emptiness are when they are unable to ignore you, such as when they are sleeping or on the toilet. If you insist on waking a human at what it considers a "ridiculously early hour" for breakfast, be warned that the human may be as likely to throw you outside or in the basement as to feed you.
   
   e) Should you catch something of your own outside, it is only polite to attempt to get to know it. Be insistent; your food will usually not be so polite and try to leave. If you can't be bothered to eat the food you've just caught, be considerate and don't waste it; it makes a perfect gift for humans! Carefully pick it up and carry it to the human's house and, if the door is closed, leave it on the doorstep. If the door is open, or there is a cat-flap, take it inside and leave it somewhere highly visible. The gift will be even more welcome if it is still alive! Live birds and mice make the best gifts as humans love a good game of chase just as much as you do, although be careful not to help them; it's their gift after all.
   
   f) Table scraps are delicacies with which the humans are unfortunately unwilling to readily part. It is beneath the Dignity of a cat to beg outright for food as lower forms of life such as dogs will, but several techniques exist for ensuring that the humans don't forget you exist. These include, but are not limited to: jumping onto the lap of the "softest" human and purring loudly; lying down in the doorway between the dining room and the kitchen, the Direct Stare, and twining around people's legs as they sit and eat while meowing plaintively.
   
   g) Coffee is known to be rejuvenating for both cats and humans. Whenever a human sets a cup of coffee on the floor within your reach, s/he is showing you great respect and worship. Softly blow the divine liquid until cool (you may even put your paw in it to make sure the temperature is just right) and then daintily drink it.
   
   h) Occasionally there will be disagreements over what you and the humans will deem as edible. The appropriate action, should the stuff in question be too repulsive to ignore, is to bury it. Scratch at the floor and try to drag over objects to cover the offending item. This informs the ignorant human that it really belongs in the litter box.
   
   2.1 Catnip
   
   Most cats think that this strange-looking plant is Food of the Gods and better even than tuna. There are some, however, who are sadly deprived of the ability to enjoy this wonderful treat and will look upon the others with a mixture of confusion and disgust at the utter lack of Dignity of those partaking. If you are one of the latter, please skip to the next section.
   
   Catnip is available in two forms, in the wild as an odd-looking plant that grows in delightfully fragrant, though often rather flattened, patches, and from the humans in a concentrated dried form. Unfortunately, the humans know of our weakness for catnip and will try to hold it out from us, often employing some very ingenious methods to do so. If the humans are careless enough to leave any catnip within reach, it is imperative to get it no matter what you have to tear apart to do so. Otherwise the humans will use it to attempt to coerce us to do things which would otherwise be beneath us.
   
   The greatest hazard of catnip is that it causes those cats under its influence to utterly lose their Dignity. They roll around foolishly, purr at maximum volume, tear around the house at top speed, and do other things no sane cat would be caught doing. Do attempt to control yourself, especially if your humans have a "video camera" and are prone to using it.
   
    

A local cat after last years Ranger Conference

RANGERS ALWAYS WILLING TO GO ABOVE AND BEYOND THE CALL OF DUTY

Recently Shire of Toodyay Rangers responded to a call of two sheep stranded on an island in the middle of the Avon River. With the recent heavy rains the river was flowing fast and furious and the island was gradually being swallowed by the rising waters.

This is  the river on which The Avon Descent White Water Race takes place with fast flowing currents, extremely cold temperatures and white water rapids.

 Despite the fast currents, freezing temperatures and outside temperature in the low teens, on an overcast wet Saturday morning two Shire of Toodyay Rangers (one who was on annual leave) formulated a plan to rescue the trapped animals.