The Official On-Line Newsletter

of the

WA Rangers Association Inc

Issue 1  2008

 

 

Let's get this "Rangerdaze" off with a really good laugh !!!

 

You Must Be Joking !!!

 

A Christchurch City lawyer was out and about on the South Island of New Zealand when he spotted a flight of duck.  He stopped his Range Rover, got out his 12 bore and chose his target. He soon dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the far side of a barbed-wire fence.

As the lawyer was carefully attempting to climb over the fence, the elderly farmer who owned the field drove up on his tractor and asked him what he thought he was doing?

The smooth litigator responded,

'I shot that duck but it fell into this field, so now I'm going to retrieve it.'

The old farmer replied,  'This is
my property, and you are not coming over here.'

The indignant lawyer said,  'I am one of the best trial attorneys in N Z and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll happily sue you and almost certainly take everything you own.'

The old farmer smiled and said,  'Apparently you don't know how we settle disputes down here in Taweandy' 

We settle petty disagreements like this by using the 'Three Kick Rule.''  The lawyer asked, 'What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?'

The Farmer replied,  'Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first ------------------I get to kick
you three times ---------------and then you can kick me three times, and so on, back
and forth, until one party decides to give up.'

The supposedly astute attorney thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take this silly old codger.

He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly, and with some difficulty, climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the Attorney.

His first kick, was right in the groin , and because he was wearing his steel toe-capped boots he dropped the Lawyer straight onto his knees!

His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's recent smoked salmon lunch gushing from his mouth.

The lawyer was still down on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his ample rear- end, sent him face-first into a fresh, very juicy cow pat.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and remaining strength and  to his credit very slowly, eventually managed to get to his feet.

Wiping his face and eyes with the arm of his jacket, he said,   'Okay,
you old **** fart      Now it's my
turn.'

(I love this part)

The old farmer smiled and said,

'Nah, I give up.  You can have the duck.'

Sent in by Sue Bell, President "National Dog Warden's Association" UK

 

 

 

 

Congratulations WARA!  Three decades on!

Hi everyone and welcome to the first issue of Rangerdaze for 2008.  And what about 2008?  WARA has been on the scene now for 30 years, starting with a few rangers meeting together in 1978 and progressing it to a more formal entity as the Municipal Law Enforcement Officers Association Inc.  I knew at the time that a rangers association had formed because I started work as a PCC Grey Ghost on the 4th April 1978 and one of the other parkies named Colin Woolams told me all about it that year.

The Association developed getting stronger and stronger each year with many new initiatives being introduced.  The development of formal meetings with a defined structure and Office Bearers made Local Government take notice of the group as they endeavoured to introduce a greater level of professionalism into the industry of local government law enforcement.  Soon came the annual training conferences and eventually the introduction of the WA Ranger of the Year Award in 1990.

In time, under the strong leadership of President Brian Watkins who I had the great pleasure to serve on the Committee with, the Association changed it's name to WA Rangers Association Inc more commonly known as WARA.  The Association's membership grew and grew with it's reputation standing right out there.  We produced a very good promotional video on the work of WA Rangers and in 2000 the Association went online with it's first very small website.  This is where I became very, very involved.  My name is Steve Elvidge and I have been WARA's Webmaster since its beginning about October 2000.  I had spent 2 or 3 years as WARA Secretary, 1 year as Vice President and in 2002 I was WARA President for 1 year.  With the help of my wife Maureen who went on to be a Parkie at City of Fremantle and also WARA Secretary for 2 or 3 years along with Dave White we spent many long hours building the site into what we have today.  I have enjoyed very much building and updating the site but one of the greatest experiences was writing and constructing Rangerdaze.  I've had a lot of laughs over the past 7 years of doing Rangerdaze and made a few blues also.  A couple of times I've had a frantic Dave White on the phone the next day after an issue of the newsletter went online saying, "Can you change so & so, you can't call that guy whatever it was".  Thanks a lot Dave, you probably stopped us being sued a couple of times.

Anyway, this will probably be the last Rangerdaze I publish and will end my job as WARA Webmaster very soon.  I now live in the UK and have recently taken on a new job as Community Justice Court Coordinator in the Central Magistrates Court.  This job is interesting, rewarding and very demanding so my work load these days is such that I don't have a lot of spare time anymore.

I feel very proud and privileged to have been a WARA member for 13 years and to have served on the Committee for nearly 8 years.  I will not detach myself completely though as I will continue to act as an agent for the Association by forwarding any new and interesting information to the Secretary on any new developments in local government in the UK and Europe, especially relating to dog laws and dog attacks.

I wish you all a very bright future in what has become a dim World.  I know under Sam Tarling and the new team, WARA can only move forward and go on to real greatness as an Association.

I remain your friend and wish everyone of you and your loved ones, health and happiness.  Stay cool!

Steve Elvidge (aka) Steveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Your Dog Just Did A Poo, I Am A Ranger,

You And Your Dog Have The Right To Remain Silent" !!

Will it ever come to this in WA Municipal Law Enforcement?

 

The current England and Wales version (as modified by the 1994 Criminal Justice Act) is:

"You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence."

England and Wales

Warnings regarding the right against self-incrimination may have originated in England & Wales. In 1912, the judges of the King's Bench issued the Judge's Rules. These provided that, when a police member wished to question a suspect about an offence, the officer should first caution the person that he was entitled to remain silent. The pre-trial operation of the privilege against self-incrimination was further buttressed by the decision in Ibrahim v R [1914] AC 599 that an admission or confession made by the accused to the police would only be admissible in evidence if the prosecution could establish that it had been voluntary. An admission or confession is only voluntary if made in the exercise of a free choice about whether to speak or remain silent:

In R v Leckey (1943) CAR 128 the Court of Criminal Appeal said:

... an innocent person might well, either from excessive caution or for some other reason, decline to say anything when charged and cautioned, and if it were possible to hold that out to a jury as a ground on which they might find a man guilty, it is obvious that innocent persons might be in great peril.

Therefore a caution of the form

You have the right to remain silent, but anything you do say will be taken down and may be used in evidence against you.

was used. The Criminal Justice and Public Order Act 1994 amended the right to silence by allowing adverse inferences to be drawn by the jury in cases where a suspect refuses to explain something, and then later produces an explanation.  In other words the jury is entitled to infer that the accused fabricated the explanation at a later date, as he refused to provide the explanation during police questioning. The jury is also free to make no such inference. The new caution is:

You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you do not mention, when questioned, something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence.

or

You do not have to say anything unless you wish to do so, but I must warn you that if you fail to mention any fact which you rely on in your defence in court, your failure to take this opportunity to mention it may be treated in court as supporting any relevant evidence against you. If you do wish to say anything, what you say may be given in evidence.

or even (in circumstances where no adverse inference can be drawn from silence)

You do not have to say anything, but anything you do say may be given in evidence.

The caution in England & Wales does not explicitly require that a suspect affirms that he or she understands the caution.

 

United States

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to have an attorney present during questioning. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you.

In the United States, the Miranda warning is a warning given by police to criminal suspects in police custody, or in a custodial situation, before they are asked questions relating to the commission of a crime. A custodial situation is where the suspect's freedom of movement is restrained although he or she is not under arrest. An incriminating statement by a suspect will not constitute admissible evidence unless the suspect was advised of his or her "Miranda rights" and made a knowing, intelligent, and voluntary waiver of those rights. However, police may request biographical information such as name, date of birth, and address, without first reading suspects their Miranda warnings.

The Miranda warnings were mandated by the 1966 United states Supreme Court decision in the case of Miranda v. Arizona as a means of protecting a criminal suspect's Fifth Amendment right to avoid coercive self-incrimination.

 

Australia

Within Australia, the right to silence derives from common law. The uniform position amongst the states is that neither the judge nor the jury is permitted to draw any adverse inference about the defendant's culpability, where he/she does not answer police questions. While this is the common law position, it is buttressed by various legislative provisions within the states. For instance s.464J of the Crimes Act 1958 (Vic) and s.89 of the Evidence Act 1995 (NSW).

It has also been upheld by the High Court in the case of Petty v R (1991) 173 CLR 95. However, where a defendant answers some police questions, but not others, an inference may sometimes be drawn about the questions he refused to answer.

The current caution used in New South Wales is:

You are not obliged to say or do anything unless you wish to do so, but whatever you say or do may be used in evidence. Do you understand?

Where a defendant refuses to speak to the police, but then speaks to an undercover member of the police, that evidence is likely to be excluded so as to ensure that the police do not avoid their limitations. However, if a defendant speaks to a person who is not a member of the police and who is fitted with a listening device, that evidence would be admitted.

Australian research indicates that very few suspects actually refuse to speak. Stevenson’s research (see below for citation) indicates that only 4% of suspects who are subsequently charged and tried in the Sydney District Court remain silent during interviews. The Victorian DPP found that 7-9% of suspects refused to answer police questions.

A number of states have conducted enquiries into the adoption of the English changes set out in the Criminal Justice and Public Order Act 1994.  All states have rejected such change. As the NSW Report said:

It is reasonable that innocent persons faced with a serious accusation might wish to consider their situations carefully before making any disclosure, especially where the circumstances appear suspicious but it cannot be assumed that they are rational and articulate. In many cases, suspects may be emotional, perhaps panicked, inarticulate, unintelligent, easily influenced, confused or frightened or a combination of these. They may be unable to do themselves justice. Such persons may be well advised to hold their peace, at least at an early stage. They may, of course, have something to hide, but that something may simply be shameful and not a crime, or it may implicate others for whom they feel responsible. The supposition that only a guilty person has a reason for not speaking freely to investigating police is an unreasonable assumption.

It is also important to note that anything said to an Australian police member should be corroborated, especially by way of video or audio tape. If it is not so corroborated it will be admitted only under exceptional circumstances, S.464H (2)(a) of the Crimes Act 1958 (Vic), and where the circumstances, on the balance of probabilities, justify the reception of the evidence, S.464H (2)(b) of the Crimes Act 1958 (Vic). While initially the police were insulted by this ruling most have now come to find it useful as a way of proving that they did not invent a false, verbal confession, never made by an accused (a practice called "verballing" an accused).

 

 

 

HELP !!

Researching WARA's History, repeated from the last Rangerdaze.

Keith Pleitner and Ray McArthur, two WARA Life Members have been assigned the task of researching WARA's history for our 30th Anniversary in 2008.

We want to know about anyone, anywhere who may have had some involvement with the Association over the years.  This person may have been a past President, Vice President, Secretary or other member of the Executive Committee or Committee at some time.  Where are they now and what are they doing now?  You may have information regarding a past WARA member who has passed on.

Over the next couple of months, please ask around.  If you know anyone who can help us with any information, please click on the link below, print off the questionnaire and pass it onto the person so as to be completed and returned to WARA.

Your support in gathering this information will be much appreciated.

Thank you.

WARA History

 

 

 

Ranger Training 2008

Plan your  Ranger training for 2008.

C Y O'Connor courses for 2008 now listed on the "Ranger Training" page through the link below.

Ranger Training 2008

 

 

 

Bull Arab Dogs

A WARA member sent us an email requesting any information that may be available on a breed of dog known as "Bull Arab".  We did some research and this is what we found for you.

Bull Arab dogs are very good at hunting. Their unbelievable stamina, heavy muscle and purposefulness allow them to kill game two to three times their own weight. Although it may take a long time for a dog to do the job, he/she will almost certainly return with a game. The history of Bull Arabs is uncertain. These dogs weigh approximately 50-70 kg; colors usually range between white-and-tan and white-and-black.

One explanation on the Internet, these are not WARA's comments.

"What is a Bull Arab? Well the name Bull Arab came about around 26 to 28 years ago, when a fellow by the name of Mick Hodges, living in and around Brisbane at the time , ended up with a mistake litter of pups out of a Bullterrier bitch called Bull and a Doberman dog called Arab. Whilst writing an advertisement in the local paper to sell the pups in a hurry after work, he wrote down Bull Arab pups, instead of Bull – Doberman pups and did not even realise this until his first few phone calls that Saturday morning. A good number of people rang enquiring about the Bull Arab pups, and seeing the opportunity, Mick carried on the name for a number of years, selling just about anything he could get his hands on as a Bull Arab. A joint breeding program with a couple of other blokes soon kicked into gear and by putting together Bullterrier, Greyhound and Pointer for tenacity, speed and hunting ability, they started work on the Bull Arab that is commonly used today and still very much the type that it was when first put together 5 or6 years after the name came about." This is a quote from an article about Bull Arabs.

We hope this helped.  Try to Google bull+arab+dog and check out the link below, it may be helpful.

 

http://www.boardogs.com/Bull_Arabs.htm

 

 

 

Restricted Dog Breeds

Some authorities around the World have effectively dealt with the problem with restricted breeds that may or may not be 100% pure bred.  In the past, vets have been reluctant to say whether or not a dog is a pure bred restricted breed.  The following information is from Local Laws in Canada.

A pit bull defined by the Province of Ontario as a pit bull terrier, Staffordshire bull terrier, American Staffordshire terrier or American pit bull terrier or a dog that has an appearance and physical characteristics that are substantially similar to those breeds.

Even if there is doubt as to the exact breed of a dog, they cover that problem by saying even if "a dog" has the appearance and physical characteristics of a restricted breed, it is treated the same.  Problem solved ?????

 

 

 

You Must Be Joking !

 

MAKES ME PROUD TO BE AN AUSSIE ...
 
 'Hello, is this the police?'

 'Yes it is. How can we help you?'

 'I'm calling to report my neighbour, Wazza. He's hiding cocaine inside his firewood!'

 'Thank you very much for the call.'

 The next day, police officers descend on Wazza's house in great numbers.

 They search the house and then go out to the shed where the firewood is kept.

 Using axes, they bust open every piece of firewood but they find no cocaine.

 They swear at Wazza and leave.

 The phone rings at Wazza's house. 'Hey, Wazz, did the cops come?'

 'Yeah!'

 'Did they chop up your firewood for ya?'

 'Yep.'

 'Happy Birthday, maaaaaaaaaate!!!.'

 

 

 

Great Photos

 

 

 

 

New Year's Day Hangovers ????

It seems their may have been a number of regular visitors to the WARA Website that may have had hangovers on New Year's Day, or maybe their internet server was down ??

What makes us think that.  Well we regularly check the number of visitors to the WARA site and where they come from through the Counter.com, so check out stats for the festive season.

Christmas Day visitors        = 11

Boxing Day visitors              = 31

New Years Day visitors       =  0

Our explanation

11 members got new laptops for Christmas.

31 Barbeques broke down on Boxing Day.

0 people surfaced New Years Day.

If anyone would like to send Rangerdaze an explanation of your whereabouts on New Years Day, we would be pleased to hear about it.  We will even put the best response on the "Notice Board" for all to read.  Email us below.

where_was_i_newyearsday@rangerdaze

 

 

 

 

Essential Equipment For The Ladies

 

Makeup Mouse

 

 

Ready Repairs

 

 

 

You Must Be Joking ?

DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS (or the uncertainty of the English language).

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, Did you?
"Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?"


A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?"
The father replied. "Well son, you must have got it from your mother, 'cause I still have mine."

"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce Court Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,"
"That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now
and then, I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."

A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all."
"Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really good wi th the kids."


An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you". The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."


Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder
1. All the DNA is the same .

2. There are no dental records.

A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute.."  "Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
"How was he killed?" asked one detective.
"With a golf gun," the other detective replied. "A golf gun?
"What is a golf gun?" "I don't know. But it sure made a hole in
Juan.

Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion." Joe: "Really?"
Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell."

A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. "I'm O. K., but I didn't like the four-letter word the doctor used in surgery," he answered.
"What did he say," asked the nurse. "OOPS"

While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.
"What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an
all-in-one?"
"Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one."
He's still in intensive care.

 

 

 

 

 

 

WARA Website

During 2008, a number of changes will be made to your WARA Website.

There will be a change in webmasters this year but this will take a while to take effect, so please continue to check the "Notice Board" regularly to find out what updates have occurred.

Information from the President, Secretary & WARA Committee, 2008 Conference information, new job advertisements, events and other changes to the Website, including visitor numbers will always appear on the "Notice Board" not on the "Home " page as in the past.

THANKS !!

 

 

 

DARWIN AWARDS

Yes, it's again that magical time of the year when the Darwin Awards > are bestowed, honouring the least-evolved among us.  And the glorious > Winner for 2007 is:

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California , would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

And now, the Honorable Mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat- cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself.
He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. A Texas teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.


6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer: $15.

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, 'Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from.'

9. The Ann Arbor Michigan News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan , at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

******THE 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER***** 10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor  home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd had in a very long time.

In the interest of bettering human kind please share these with your friends and family. Unless of course one of the 10 winners by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend.

In that case be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.



 

 

Recipe

Ingredients for Ratatouille

 

 

 

 

Travel Tips To Avoid Terrorism


Millions of people Worldwide believe planet Earth should be renamed "TITANIC" and that we live with many icebergs in the form of war, crime, climate change, religious and racial intolerance, starvation, pandemic diseases, natural disasters and of course terrorism.

Terrorist acts occur unpredictably, making it impossible to protect yourself absolutely. The first and best protection is to avoid travel to areas where there has been a persistent record of terrorist attacks or kidnappings.

Most terrorist attacks are the result of careful planning. Just as a car thief will first be attracted to an unlocked car with the key in the ignition, terrorists are looking for the most accessible targets. The chances that a tourist, travelling with an unpublished program or itinerary, would be the victim of terrorism are slight. In addition, many terrorist groups, seeking publicity for political causes within their own country or region, may not be looking for American targets as some people believe to be the case. Nevertheless, the following pointers may help you avoid becoming a target of opportunity. These precautions may provide some degree of protection, and can serve as practical and psychological deterrents to would-be terrorists.

Schedule direct flights if possible and avoid stops in high-risk airports or areas.

Be cautious about what you discuss with strangers or what others may overhear.

Try to minimize the time spent in the public area of an airport, which is a less protected area. Move quickly from the check-in counter to the secured areas. Upon arrival, leave the airport as soon as possible.

Keep an eye out for abandoned packages or briefcases, or other suspicious items. Report them to airport authorities and leave the area promptly.

Avoid obvious terrorist targets such as places where Westerners are known to congregate.

Travel to High-Risk Areas

If you must travel in an area where there has been a history of terrorist attacks or kidnappings, make it a habit to:

Discuss with your family what they would do in the event of an emergency. Make sure your affairs are in order before leaving home.

Remember to leave a detailed itinerary and the numbers or copies of your passport or other citizenship documents with a friend or relative.

Remain friendly but be cautious about discussing personal matters or your itinerary.

Leave no personal or business papers in your hotel room.

Watch for people following you or "loiterers" observing your comings and goings.

Keep a mental note of safe havens, such as police stations, hotels, and hospitals. Formulate a plan of action for what you will do if a bomb explodes or there is gunfire nearby.

Let someone else know what your travel plans are.  Keep them informed if you change your plans.

Report any suspicious activity to local police, and the nearest embassy or consulate.

Select your own taxicabs at random. Don't take a vehicle that is not clearly identified as a taxi. Compare the face of the driver with the one on his or her posted license.

If possible, travel with others.

Be sure of the identity of visitors before opening the door of your hotel room. Don't meet strangers at your hotel room, or at unknown or remote locations.

Refuse unexpected packages.

Check for loose wires or other suspicious activity around your car.

Be sure your vehicle is in good operating condition.

Drive with car windows closed in crowded streets. Bombs can be thrown through open windows.

If you are ever in a situation where somebody starts shooting, drop to the floor or get down as low as possible. Don't move until you are sure the danger has passed. Do not attempt to help rescuers and do not pick up a weapon. If possible, shield yourself behind a solid object. If you must move, crawl on your stomach.

 

 

 

 

alltype20.jpg (59025 bytes)

 

Rangers please note, Alltype specialise in Local Govt work, rodents, roaches, spiders & feral birds.

Over 25 years experience, Wayne French offers an excellent, honest pest management service using only quality products!

All domestic & commercial work.

Call Wayne on Tel: 9302 3936 or Mob: 0414 242075

or Email

Wayne@Alltype

Visit Alltype's all new Website.

 

 

 

 

 Hi I'm Tazzy

Hi all and how was your Christmas?  Did you have an office party and was it easy to organise?

Hopefully a lot easier than this lady below.  Check it out.

 

 

FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director                                 
TO:   All Employees                                                           
DATE: 4th November 2007                                                       
RE:   Christmas Party
                                                        
                                                                              
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...please feel free to sing along.       
And don't be surprised if the MD shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1.00 p.m.  Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time, however, no gift should be over £10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets.  This gathering is only for employees! The MD will make a special announcement at the Party.          
                                                                              
Merry Christmas to you and your Family.                                       
                                                                              
Pauline                                                                       
                                                                              
                                                                              
                                                                              
FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director                                 
TO:   All Employees                                                           
DATE: 5th November 2007                                                       
RE:   Holiday Party                                                           
                                                                              
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.  We recognise that Hanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our 'Holiday Party'. The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians.  There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.                                                                    
                                                                              
Happy now?                                                                    
                                                                              
Happy Holidays to you and your family,                                        
                                                                              
Pauline.                                                                      
                                                                              
                                                                              
                                                                              
FROM; Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director                                 
TO:   All Employees                                                           
DATE: 6th November 2007                                                       
RE:   Holiday Party
                                                          
                                                                              
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table...you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore!!!! How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody? Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the Union Officials feel that £10.00 is too much money and management believe £10.00 is a little cheap. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.                                                                      
                                                                              
Pauline.                                                                      
                                                                              
                                                                              
                                                                              
FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director                                 
TO:   All Employees                                                           
DATE: 7th November 2007                                                      
RE:   Holiday Part
                                                           
                                                                              
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs, perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - or else package everything up for you to take home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets, Gays are allowed to sit with each other, Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay men's table too.  To the person asking permission to cross dress - no cross dressing allowed. We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food first.. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts.                                 
                                                                              
Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!?!?!?!                                          
                                                                              
Pauline.                                                                      
                                                                              
                                                                              
                                                                              
FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director                                 
TO:   All F****** Employees                                                   
DATE: 8 November 2007                                                         
RE:   The ******** Holiday Party.
                                            
                                                                              
Vegetarian pricks I've had it with you people !!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death", as you so quaintly put it, you'll get your f****** salad bar, including organic tomatoes, But you know tomatoes have feeling too, They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing the scream right NOW!!  I hope you all have a rotten holiday, drink, drive and die.                      
                                                                              
The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!                       
                                                                              
                                                                              
   
                                                                           

FROM: John Bishop - Acting Human Resources Director                           
DATE: 9th November 2007                                                       
RE:   Pauline Lewis and Holiday Party                                         
                                                                              
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline Lewis a speedy recovery, and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, the management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and instead, give everyone the afternoon of the 24th December off with full pay.                
                                                                              

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This was apparently National Geograph's photo of the year

 

 

 

 

You Must Be Joking!

Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV and drinking a beer when he  hears a knock at the door.  When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Chinese man, clutching a  clipboard and yelling, "You Sign! You sign!"
Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts.
Nelson is standing there in complete amazement, when the Chinaman starts to  yell louder, "You Sign! You sign!"
Nelson says to him, "Look, you've obviously got the wrong man", and shuts the  door in his face.
 
The next day he hears a knock at the door again.
When he opens it, the little Chinese man is back with a huge truck of brake  pads.
He thrusts his clipboard under Nelson's nose, yelling, "You sign! You sign!"
Mr Mandela is getting a bit hacked off by now, so he pushes the little Chinese  man back, shouting: "Look, go away! You've got the wrong man. I don't want  them"!Then he slams the door in his face again.
 
The following day, Nelson is resting, and late in the afternoon, he hears a  knock on the door again.
On opening the door, there is the same little Chinese man thrusting a  clipboard under his nose, shouting, "You sign! You sign!" Behind him are TWO  very large trucks full of car parts.
This time Nelson loses his temper completely, he picks up the little man by  his shirt front and yells at him: "Look, I don't want these!
Do you  understand? You must have the wrong name!
Who do you want to give these to?"
The little Chinese man looks very puzzled, consults his clipboard, and says:
 
(It's a beauty wait for it, get your best Chinese accent ready).
 
"You not Nissan Main Deala?"

 

 

 

 

Boys Will Be Boys

 

 

 

You Must Be Joking !

A man doing market research knocked on a door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet.

He says, "I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?"

She says, "Yes. My husband and I use it all the time."

"And if you don't mind me asking, what do you use it for?"

"We use it for sex."

The researcher was a little taken back.  "Usually people lie to me and say that they use it on a child's bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I admire you for your honesty.  Since you've been frank so far, can you tell me exactly how you use it for sex?"

The woman says, "I don't mind telling you at all.  My husband and I put it on the door knob and it keeps the kids out."
 

 

 

 

Address:  1-3 Chapel Road, Moorabbin,  VICTORIA  3189

Postal:  PO Box 591  Moorabbin,  VICTORIA  3189

Phone: (03) 9532 6069   Fax: 9555 7829 or e-mail.

 

 

 

On The Move

 

Person

From To
Lisa Manser Senior Ranger Town of Claremont Senior Ranger Shire of Roebourne
Tim Jones Ranger Shire of Dardanup (part time) Ranger Shire of Donnybrook
Samantha Tarling Manager Ranger Services Town of Bassendean Chief Executive Officer Shire of Wiluna

We at Rangerdaze are aware other Rangers are regularly on the move.  Please let us know if you hear of anyone moving around.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Note to self:


 
'Cancel credit cards prior to death!  

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die! This is so priceless and so easy to see happening - customer service, being what it is today!

A lady died this past January, and her bank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now is somewhere around $60.00.

A family member placed a call to the Bank:
 

Family Member:

'I am calling to tell you that she died in January.'

Bank:
 
'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member:

'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.'

Bank:
 
'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'

Family Member:
 
So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'  

Bank:
 
'Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'

Family Member:

'Do you think God will be mad at her?'

Bank:
 
'Excuse me?'

Family Member:

'Did you just get what I was telling you . . ... The part about her being dead?'

Bank:

'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'

Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member:
 
'I'm calling to tell you, she died in January.'

Bank:
 
'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member:

'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'

Bank:
 
(Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'

Family Member:
 
'No, I'm her great nephew.' (Lawyer info given)

Bank:

'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'  

Family Member:
 
'Sure.'  ( fax number is given )

After they get the fax:

Bank:
 
'Our system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.'

Family Member:

'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care.'  

Bank:
 
'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.'  

Family Member:
 
'Would you like her new billing address?'

Bank:
 
'That might help.'

Family Member:
 
' Rookwood Memorial Cemetery, 1249 Centenary Rd, Sydney Plot Number ****.'

Bank:

'Sir, that's a cemetery!'

Family Member:
 
'Well, what the hell do you do with dead people on your planet?'  
 

 

 

K9 Collars

MAJOR SPONSOR

K9 Collars are a major sponsor of the WA Rangers Association and especially of the WA Ranger of the Year Award.  To obtain further information on K9 Collars Western Australia. 

Mr Colin Seal  Ph: (08) 9276 4937 or 1300 306 707  Fax: (08) 9375 6500  Mob:  0421 213 007.

K9 Collars

West Australian based.

 

 

 

Bark Busters are another quality company WA Rangers Association are proud to be associated with and a very kind sponsor of WARA Conferences.  Thanks Bark Busters, we appreciate your support.

Cliff Guelfi  BARK BUSTERS  Free Call: 1800 067 710

 

 

Some hangovers last a lifetime.

Don't drink and drive.

 

 

After nearly 7 years, it's farewell from "Rangerdaze"!

We hope at some later time to have "Rangerdaze" back online, but to do that we need support with contributions from visitors.

If you have any comments on the future of "Rangerdaze", please forward them through the email link below:

bring-back-rangerdazeat01.gif (4052 bytes)warangers